Kesem is a nationwide community, driven by passionate college student leaders, that supports children through and beyond their parent’s cancer. Kesem is the largest national organization dedicated to supporting children impacted by a parent’s cancer, at no cost to families. Our innovative and fun-filled programs provide children with peers who understand their unique needs, and create long-lasting impact.
That's what their website will tell you, here's what it wont:
For the purpose of this story I will assume your kid like mine has had a parent get cancer, If that is true you have seen your kid become someone different since diagnosis. You've seen their sparkle dim. You've probably put them in counseling, you've offered more love than you thought was possible, and you've excused behaviors you normally wouldn't all in hopes that you could see them sparkle again. Let me tell you a secret, I know how to get the sparkle back!! It's called Camp Kesem, and it's truly Magic!
You may be thinking that I'm hyping this up a bit much, but I promise I won't even do it justice. Let's start at the beginning. Kesem is a nationwide organization that provides summer camp for kids (for free) whose parents have/had or passed from cancer. The camp is put on and paid for by money raised annually by the counselors, who all happen to be college students. OK color me impressed already! When I found out that our local chapter here at UC Davis was not only responsible for raising 150K a year to send kids to camp but that they had to plan all the day to day activities, find mental health professionals, as well as nurses to join them at camp and still be expected to be full time students I was floored. All I could think about was all the things I was doing at their age....imagine more beer and less kids. What kind of people would choose this to be the organization that they committing their college age self to? Well only about the most impressive people I've ever met!
When I first heard about this camp I brought it up with my boys. Wanna hear how excited they were? Their exact words were "You want us to go to a camp where everyone has parents with cancer? Ummm, no thanks!" So it's safe to say we didn't go that year. What we did do was talk about it a couple times, watch a few videos on YouTube and eventually we went to a picnic they host annually to help keep in contact with campers as well as get to know prospective camper families. Basically it's a big field day, a picnic with games for the kiddos all run by those amazing college kids I talked about earlier. I couldn't make it that day so Jeremy and the boys went without me, when I asked about it after it was as if I had asked about a trip to Disneyland. They couldn't stop talking about all these people they'd met. Honestly I only understood about a third of what they were saying because all the counselors go by funny names so I kept having to ask things like "Is splash a person? Beatz is his name not a sound right?" What I never had to ask was if they had fun. The joy was all over their faces. Needless to say that year was the boys first summer at Camp Kesem.
Drop off happens at a park in Davis on a Sunday in early summer. We were all nervous, knowing they would have each other made all of us a little calmer. Jeremy and I had big plans for our child free week which ended up looking like work, dinner, pass out...it was too quick and pretty great. Friday rolled around and we couldn't wait to pick up our two boys. As they came off the buses one thing became quiet clear, we had definitely missed them more than they had missed us. We got a giant hug from each of them as they ran quickly back to their friends and counselors. The car ride home was where we started to learn about Kesem. It started simple "So how was camp?" After a quiet pause a simple "Mom, Kesem is Magic" slipped out of Oliver's mouth. They both had been very worried about having to share their cancer connection. I had checked and reassured them several times before they left that no one was made to share their story. If they decided to share their story it was completely up to them. So I cautiously asked "did you talk about papa?" this was answered by Sawyer "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." I won't lie I wanted to hear everything!!!! But part of the magic I've learned is that they have this safe community that is all their own.
Over the years I have had glimpses in to their camp experiences, Sawyer shared once that during cabin chat he had been sharing with his group about how his father had missed two of his birthdays while in the hospital, he said when he was done the boy next to him shared that his dad had missed every one of his birthdays since he was six. This was one of the first times that I know Sawyer completely understood that even though his dad had missed something very important, the most important thing was that his dad was here. His dad got to tuck him in at night and wake him every morning. I had tried for years to explain how fortunate he was for years and all he could see was that his dad had missed two of his birthdays. The words he used to express his feelings about these campers were that he had found his people and I could see it in his face that his heart was healing. As sad as that story sounds it was something that through the years I hadn't been able to impart on him. The growth I see in my boys yearly on their week away continues to amaze me. If that week was all we got out of camp it would be more than enough but throughout the years camp has escaped the confines of the one week away and has slipped in to our everyday lives. Counselors have come to watch my boys play soccer, as well as joined them for pick up games at the park on a weekend. We've invited some in to our homes for dinner, pumpkin carving, even just some good old fashioned video game playing. They are eager to connect, and have truly become a second family.
Every year people graduate and move on from Kesem and the whole family thinks well next year won't be as good, and somehow new amazing faces show up and wrap their arms (literally and figuratively) around us all. Here's where I as a parent know that these people are honestly super humans, as they graduate their commitment to this organization is completed, their duty done, yet I don't have enough hands to count all the graduates who are now just friends. After graduation if they wanted they could just use this as a resume addition and have a little karmic deposit to cash in on in the future, but to them it is so much more. To us it is too.
Since becoming a part of this community I've dedicated a lot of time to helping them raise money, for one simple reason More $ = More kids at camp! No child in this situation should feel out of place or like they don't know where they belong. No child should be forced to grow up before their time. Kesem is dedicating to giving these kids their childhood, and a community. If you know of anyone who has a child whose parent has dealt with cancer, invite them to research Camp Kesem and if you don't know anyone (that's amazing) but maybe you could still help send a kid to camp?
Thank you, Liz. This is beautiful! We wish we could help more monetarily but Mark is now retired but is still a registered nurse. He is interested in helping! Love you all! C and M
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