Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Long time no bloggy :(

So after my "boo hoo poor me" blog, I got a lot of feed back about how great it was to know I wasn't a robot or something! Ha ha my friends are SOOO funny! (can you hear my sarcasm?) Any who this blog is similar to that one, but hopefully I won't sound so pathetic this time!

I am really struggling with getting back into my normal schedule. I feel like I haven't seen my friends in a long time, and like the kids haven't seen other kids in a long time. It's this weird no man land where my life is busy yet at the end of the day I ask myself what I did all day! I am trying to ease myself back into normal activities, but constantly have this fear....Fear of bringing things home and getting Jeremy sick, fear of missing the parts of the day where Jeremy feels good and wants to play, fear of getting a phone call and having to rush back to the ER! I have a lot of fear and I'm trying to work past it. Last night I was actually dreaming (or having a nightmare more specifically) about the day Jeremy called me and we went to the ER and even just going through the entire day in my dream I was freaking out when I woke up!

This Friday Jeremy has his second round of chemo and I am trying really hard to make sure that next week I will be better! I will be a better mom, and take my kids out more. I will be a better friend and make a point to interact with other mamas. I will be a better person and get myself to the gym so I feel better about myself. And I will be easier on my husband because, as he likes to remind me several times a day,  he has cancer! :)

Blissful ignorance!
BTW if you can't tell this is me easing up on myself! :))


  1. I love you Liz. You are in no-mans land and the journey is different for everyone. Be easy on yourself. You are truly doing an amazing job. Everybody is here for you and you just need to remember to call out for help when you need it. I love you tons, and hope you remember to take care of you!

  2. Have patience with yourself, patience your life, patience with your marriage, and patience with your man! you are a good mom, a great fiend, and a giving sister, and i am sure a decent lover (ha a)!

    i am sorry for all your fear and pain. I wish i could make you a cup of tea and cuddle you and let you cry it out! You are loved!!! You are all loved!!!

  3. Here I come with the silver lining, you are almost 2 weeks into chemo and that means you only have 10 weeks left, it will be over before you know it. You can do anything for 10 weeks.

    And yes Jeremy has cancer, that really sucks! It is okay to feel overwhelmed in your life, you had a lot going on before and now you have your life plus cancer.

    Be mad, be pissed, be sad, be scared but then keep it moving.

    You can do anything for 10 weeks.

    We can't make it go away but your village is here to help. 10 weeks that is it.