The current joke in my family is "poor Jeremy of all people to be stuck with while you have cancer you got Liz!" So now Jeremy and I use this a lot. When he asks for something and I don't want to do it, I say "Sorry I'm not making enchiladas tonight, remember you got stuck with me!" It's actually become quite convenient, but today I'm hear to stick up for myself.
I know I'm kind of a b!%@# sometimes. I know I expect a lot of people sometimes (my sick husband) and I know that I don't always give in to every request, but that's me. I will not let this consume me. I will not give in to the fact that my life is different, probably to a fault, but that's me. I refuse to let cancer get the best of me or my family. Life will go on as normal.
We are currently planning a birthday party, and then going on a big camping trip, and I sometimes stop for just a second and think am I crazy? Then I quickly move on knowing if I let this disrupt our lives, if I give in for just a minute I will be lost. Mainly I think of my kids. If Oliver doesn't get the 3rd birthday he's been dreaming of he will be fine, it will not be the end of the world. Yet that little bit of normalcy in my life will be one of the things that pulls me through this. If we miss our annual camping trip the boys will not be scarred, but if we go they will be talking about it for months, and that makes my heart happy.
So yes sometimes I too think, poor Jeremy. Then I remember everything I've made him do while he's been sick, and I think someday I will have to tell my kids just how sick there Papa was because they will not remember this. This will be such a small bump in the road to them that they will not be altered. Do I regret not letting Jeremy be consumed by this either... NO! So yes, poor Jeremy, he is stuck with me. All of my faults in tow, Just Me.