Since beginning this recent part of my journey I realize what has become normal for me, isn't normal for everyone. This thought doesn't cross my mind often, or really ever, until someone brings it up.
Today Jeremy went in for his second round of this more intense chemo, he will be in the hospital until Monday. When earlier this week we were telling someone that Jeremy was going to be gone all weekend, she looked shocked and immediately said "well how are you feeling about this?" Huh I thought, that's kinda a weird question being that if he doesn't go in he'll still have cancer, and just get sick again. Jeremy and I both responded with "fine." After a little conversation we were able to understand that this seemed so foreign to her that she couldn't imagine how a four day hospital stay could seem normal. It wasnt' until she said it that way that I thought about it more. Yes, one year ago had someone said Jeremy was going to spend four days in the hospital I would have been in a panic. Today this is normal.
Today my day went like this
5:45 -kids wake me up
7:45 -leave house with everyone dressed & fed
8:10 -drop Oliver off at a friends house for a play date
8:40 -drop Jeremy off at the hospital
9:00 -drop Sawyer off at school
9:15 -return to hospital to visit with Jeremy
11:00 -return to Sawyer's school for "meet my classmates" day (even though Sawyer is going home with a friend!)
12:00 -return to hospital with Jeremy's lunch
2:30 -go pick up Sawyer from friends house then head home
4:00 -Oliver gets dropped off, I jump in shower
4:30 -pack a picnic dinner
4:50 -drop off the dog at a friends house for the weekend
5:00 -back at the hospital to have dinner and watch a movie with papa
7:00 -load up tired kids and head home
8:00 -kids are down and I am blogging
Ok reading that looks more exhausting then it was but this is my normal. I'm not complaining. I know everyone does what they need to, to keep their family together, this is what my family needs to stay strong. It is mind blowing to think though about how simple our lives where before this, and how simple they will become. So just like I have to remind myself "it's just a phase, and won't last forever" when my kids are making me crazy, I now remind myself this too "is just a phase", but until then we will be enjoying our picnic dinners in the family waiting room.