Sunday, December 4, 2011

Empty Beds...

I'm gonna start with a little rant....last Thursday Jeremy, Sawyer and I went to Costco, trying to stock up on groceries so that one more thing would be off my mind in the coming weeks. I was driving, and if you've ever been to a Costco anywhere I'm sure you know parking is always hard, so when I found a person unloading close to the front I pulled to the side and put my blinker on. For some reason it took this person awhile to get their 3 items unloaded. A few cars went around me, some stayed behind me and waited, Jeremy and Sawyer decided to go get a hot dog while I parked. When I got out of my car and headed in a woman went out of her way to come over and yell at me! "Do you know you caused a traffic jam sitting there waiting for a parking spot!!" I almost slapped her, well not really but I wanted to, "you could have gone around, other cars did" was my response. "No, I couldn't there were cars coming in both directions and you were just sitting there." She continued. I looked at her in disbelief, thinking to myself if cars are going in both directions then cars are going around me, right? "You could have gone around" was all I could manage, before turning to go find my family. I wanted to scream!!! I wanted to say, tomorrow my husband is going to the hospital for 30 days, 30 days that he won't get to see his kids, 4 months before he'll be able to eat a damn hot dog from the food court again. She made me so angry, as if I had inconvenienced her so greatly. Guess what lady, life is an inconvenience for me at the moment, and I don't go around screaming at everyone. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

So that was a lovely start, but it felt good to get that all out. From there Thursday actually turned into a very nice day, we spent the entire day together, as a family. Last minute we decided to go bowling, and then Jeremy and the boys sat together and watched a movie, while I quietly sat in the other room taking a moment for myself. We spent the night together, happy, and we all slept soundly that night.

Then Friday arrived, at 6:30am Jeremy and I got in the car and headed to the hospital. The sunrise was so beautiful, it was as if it had been painted for us! Since it was the last time Jeremy will be in the fresh air for the next 20+ days I thought it was a beautiful crisp send off.

Friday night I had a visitor in my bed. I really couldn't complain because I was feeling a little lonely too.

Then Saturday after a busy day we had 2 friends come over to spend the night. I thought it would ensure that I had the bed to myself, but no. The boys were having trouble falling asleep with the chatty girls so they joined me in my bed. After they were asleep I snuck away to visit Jeremy. One tired mama did not last that long before heading home and calling it a night. I was not feeling that lonely anymore. In fact I was feeling a whole lot of tired Sunday morning after a night of tossing and turning with 2 boys 1 dog and 1 mama all in a queen size bed.

So now it's Sunday night, everyone is in bed, their own beds, and I am taking a quiet moment to blog and enjoy a mug of hot tea. Hopefully tonight we will all sleep well.  Hopefully tomorrow we will all wake happy. Lastly I hope that the universe is kind to me this week, because I can't promise I won't start screaming this time!


  1. Praying for you guys! I don't know what to say to put a smile on your face because, well, heartache is hard and sometimes strangers just don't know what is going on in your life. Maybe that lady at Costco had something bad going on in her life too and she just took it out on you, unfortunately. This week at the grocery store someone, thinking they were saying something innocent to me, said one of the most hurtful things that has ever been said to me. Let's do our best to forget the bad and embed the good in our memories to enjoy for later.

  2. That lady is lucky you were so nice. Better yet, you were a good role model for your kids.

  3. Hoping you get the rest you need and the kindness you seek, Liz. Keeping you close in heart and mind. -Emily Sterling

  4. Thinking of you guys Liz. Let me know if you need anything. The boys would love another visit from Sawyer and Oliver! xo, Caitlin

    P.S. Next time, go ahead and yell at some jackhole that yells at you in the Costco parking lot for having parking etiquette OR tell her: Merry Christmas and may God bless you - geez!!!