Saturday, May 12, 2012

Can someone explain death to me?

Have you ever tried explaining death to a child? It’s sort of like someone describing bigfoot to me. There are a lot of questions. Mainly it’s a very vague sort of conversation and at the end I think you are both wondering how much the other person understood.

A week or so ago, Sawyer, asked me about the people who were holding up the clouds. “???” You know the dead people in heaven. Hmmm where to go from here, so I explained as best I could about how dead people are in heaven but it’s not up in the clouds, it’s all around us. How they protect us and look after us. Lastly, how we should feel lucky to know so many people in heaven who are watching out for us.

Yesterday my grandpa, Bopbop, died. I know somewhere deep down that I should be happy for him. He has wanted nothing more than to be with his wife for the last eight and a half years, since she passed. It’s hard to explain the kind of love they had, the kind we all dream about, the kind that last through seven kids, thirty some grandkids, and sixty years of marriage. All I know is that I consider myself lucky to have witnessed the twenty-one years of it that I got to see. Does that make it easier to be packing for a funeral? No not really.

I don’t exactly consider myself “lucky” to have so many people watching out for me. I am however not scared of the day (60+ years from now) when I die and get to see them all again. I also know what amazing gifts I’ve received from all of them. The last gift I received was the gift of time. Last week Bopbop came up to visit us. It had been a long time since I had seen him, and having him in my house, with my kids, telling stories to my friends was something I will always remember. Too many times people have gone and the only thing I can think about is the last conversation we had. I don’t think it’s ever been a bad conversation but had I known it would be our last there are so many more things I would have said. I don’t have that regret with him. Although, nothing, and I mean nothing makes saying goodbye to someone you love easy.

Bopbop you were an amazing man, please give all those beautiful ladies a big kiss from me.

Bopbop and Oliver snuggling a few years ago

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