Another entry from crazy town

January 2011- Dr tells us Jeremy has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My response is: Ok when can we start treatment?
June 2012- Dr tells us Jeremy has Hodgkin's Lymphoma, again. My response: Cry, cry again, then cry some more.

What's the difference? Why the shock now? I remember the day we walked into the Dr's office when we found out Jeremy had cancer initially. We were both so tired of him being sick. Finding out he had cancer was a relief (to some degree) because we now at least knew what was causing his symptoms. Finding out the cancer had returned when he looks and feels so healthy was like a punch to the stomach. I wasn't prepared in the slightest to hear this. It is a very odd feeling that comes with such shock. I feel like my life is moving in slow motion. I can't complete a thought, and struggle to remember what I'm supposed to do next. Everyone keeps offering to help, but at the moment all I can think is I need to regain my sanity.  Keeping distracted is helping but as soon as I'm alone with my thoughts I get this huge knot in my stomach. I don't know why I'm putting this all out there, except that I feel like I can't be going crazy if I tell you I'm going crazy, right? :)

Photo by Penny Sylvia