Friday, May 8, 2015
Just a Kid
This boy, my baby has a weighted heart. He has been carrying this burden, this fear for too long. With every fiber of my being I wish I could take his pain. I would carry it for the rest of my days if I could. He is eight. Hopefully not even an eighth of the way through his life, yet he is already burdened with a crushing load. I am amazed by his resilience and strength but saddened by the need for them. I'm constantly scared for his future because life can be hard for all of us, but starting with this much weight may prove too much. He's just a kid. A boy, a boy who should be running and jumping and swimming and not worrying his father won't be here tomorrow. I shouldn't need to explain what it looks like to die from cancer, he shouldn't care.
Someday this will be a gift, I tell myself that a lot. I am struggling immensely with this "gift". I can't take his pain all I can do is give him tools and hope he surpasses every hope I have for him. I have to love him more. I have to hug him more. I have to remember everyday, he's just boy. I need to give him his childhood, for it's being robbed from him faster then I can even see it going.