My journey back to my family

It's no surprise to anyone that parenting and family life isn't the same as when they were growing up. Lately I've starting thinking that maybe there was something to life without all the frills! I know I'm not reinventing the wheel but sometimes a light bulb goes off in your head, and ding, you finally figure out what seems to have been in font of you forever.  When I was growing up I had one aunt and her family that lived in Montana and one uncle and his family that lived in Arizona. All of my parents other sibling (my dad is one of seven my mom one of four) lived in the same state I did. Actually they all lived less then 2 hours away. My dad's parents lived with us, my mom's mom lived across town. My parent's entire family was at a very close proximity.

My dad and his family live in Washington my brother too. My sisters live in southern California 6hrs from us.  Jeremy's parents live in Nevada ( 2 hrs away) and his sister lives in New Jersey. Our entire family is not at very close proximity.

I am not complaining by any means that we don't all live in the same town. I would go crazy if I lived too close to my family!! I am just noticing that things are different. I rely on friends more for daily help then I do on family. I'm ok with this. Although in light of the year we've had it comes as no surprise that I feel my family is starting to get a little shaky. My kids are becoming clingy something they have never been. I'm much more short tempered then I've ever been. Both boys seem angry or grumpy a lot of the time, and Jeremy is, I feel, retreating into himself. 

So again I'm shaking things up!  First I've become someone who doesn't know how to survive without my calender, so if you want to see me email or call me. I only say this because I feel like I've become a bad friend! I use to call and make plans last minute all the time! Now if it's not on my calender it rarely works out.  Second which I just now realized as I'm typing may be a problem (do to the calender thing) is I won't be carrying a cell phone for awhile. I will have it on me, but I won't be using it except for at times I've designated as "me time". Mainly after the kids are in bed, or when they are out of my care on play dates and such. I don't speak for anyone but myself when I say that cell phones are a little crazy and sooo addicting!! I am on mine all the time, and honestly it's mainly to check out of reality. Well I guess things are going to be different because this is my reality and I will be stuck in it! Lastly I'm done fighting.  There are days I yell and scream at everyone in my house and I'm not sure anyone hears anything I say. So I won't be yelling anymore. If I don't get the response I think is appropriate I just won't be allowing the boys to do the next thing they were looking forward to.  I've explained that there are some things that are non-negotiable such as school, but going to the park after school is a perk and if you throw things at me we won't be going. Crazy concept I know!

I guess I'm writing this all out because if you put something out to everyone it makes me feel accountable to someone. Also when I write next week about how I'm a crazy person, you may understand where I'm coming from. So wish me luck keeping my sanity if you will, but mainly wish me luck making my family a happy place again. I know we all miss it!