Wednesday, December 17, 2014


I never really know how to start a blog, it's always about a million sentences running over and over in my head until they somehow form themselves into a little mini story, and then bam done. The beginning though is always me against a wall....figuring out what's the point, what do I want to tell you, and how, how do I make you feel what I felt.

Winter is not my favorite season, but it is always thought of with a loving smile in my book. I can't exactly say why since in my family a lot of death has happened in winter, but with death always comes a lot of love. Winter holds so much of the years good will. People talk about how much they love each other, people go out of their way to be nice, and of course people party, I love all these things. There are other reasons I love winter too, like today, today is my little sister's birthday. She is not near me today, and as much as I wish I could have kissed her she knows I thought of her all day. She always makes me love winter! Well really she makes me love living. Maria is so much funner then I've ever been. She is the person I think of when I'm scared to do something, for nothing scares her....well nothing except the dark. Every day I count myself lucky to have her in my life, and even luckier that she is my kids aunt.

Tomorrow makes me love winter too. Tomorrow my Sawyer will be eight. Recently I was texting with my friend Sam, and told him that Sawyer was about to be 8 and his response was so perfect I wanted to cry....
 I tried paraphrasing it but decided it wasn't as nice as just reading his words. Besides our family Sam was the only person to come see us at the hospital after having Sawyer, he didn't even want to hold Sawyer (but I made him) and I was so touched that he had made a point to come see us. Sam makes me love winter, and also happens to have a winter birthday.

I'm not sure that tonight I had a point, a thought or a feeling I wanted you to feel specifically except that this crazy ride we are on seems to be gaining speed. I remember my parents friends from when I was growing up, I remember the fun I had at my aunt's houses and I can't help but smile knowing these are the people my kids will be thinking of when they are "old".  Tonight I am nothing but in love with winter and all the joy it has brought to my life.

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