S is for Sawyer

There's a saying, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Sawyer is the one who taught me this is exactly what having a child is. By the time I wake up Sawyer will be six. Six years since I first saw his face, and as cheesy as it sounds I honestly can't imagine my life without him. 

Lately we butt heads a lot and for the life of me sometimes I can't understand that boy, but more I feel we butt heads because I completely understand him. He pushes me to a place of uncomfortableness I can only hope I pushed my parents to. He questions me when he feels he is being unfairly punished, and he defends himself when he feels unjustly attacked. These things cause me daily anguish, but make me so proud to be his Mama. He also loves with all that he is, he puts his whole heart into everything he does, and he has a smile that can light up any room. These are the things that let me know someday someone will be proud to call him their husband.

Sawyer-  Your understanding of life truly takes my breath away. I see your Papa in you all the time, because no matter what I do you still have energy left for the next thing, just like him. I see myself in you too, the way you question everything reminds me of myself as a kid. I try to be honest and answer all your questions but most of the time you stump even me. I can't wait to see you as a young man playing sports and starting to date, but more I can't wait to see what you decide to do with all those brains in your head. You will amaze people....I know because you amaze me everyday! I love you baby boy!   Mama