Sometimes Parenting Sucks

So after an unintentionally long blogging hiatus, I return. I return to tell something that is by no means news to any parent, to reiterate what has been said many times before me, but also to once again reclaim that this is my safe space to vent.  No one needs to read this, but I get to clear my head.

Recently parenting has been blissful in so many ways, going to restaurants has become a breeze, car rides across town have become like a karaoke bar in my rig, and even school work has become tolerable. Life is good in so many ways. Ok there's the glass half full, now the glass half empty, parenting sucks. Molding young people into who they will be when they are grown is no joke. Discerning the big things from the childish behaviors they will out grow is always a tough call. Being constant and unwavering and protecting them every waking moment (who am I kidding even when sleeping) is well a job that never ceases. They push every button you have and almost all the ones you never knew existed and somehow you still have to keep your shit together and be the grown up.  Well guess what, sometimes I don't want to! Sometimes being the grown up sucks.

This is the part where I have been publicly shamed for saying some of these awful truths before. Some of the things all parents know to be true yet not always wanting to say out loud. I have no shame in saying them. I am not saying my child is the devil, nor an angel for that matter, I am simply saying that being responsible for another persons behavior and actions all the time is exhausting and well for lack of a better word it sucks sometimes. I feel like in this world of half truths, with instagram and facebook always making it look like every ones life is so easy it's not comfortable for people to publicly admit they don't know  all the answers, that we are all struggling in some way with some thing. Life is hard. Period end of sentence, life is hard.

You  are probably wondering why I feel the need to spell all this out and throw myself a pity party..... it's not for me. I am dealing with my issues, I am taking matters into my own hands and doing what's best for my own family, but so many people think life is supposed to be easy and I disagree. I want people to know it's not always easy, I want other parents to know raising children is not easy. I know at the end of the day my kids will be responsible members of society, someday they will have partners and children and jobs and they will be amazing men. I know this because they are my job and I am very good at my job.

Right now I am in the trenches, digging out a bunker. They may never know how hard I've worked to make them who they will be and that is fine. I will know. They will be my reward.  They will be my payoff, but today I can say my job sucks.

A little reminder of the joy always helps